Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
40s are totally the cure
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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