he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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