And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
