That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Randomize
