Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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