So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
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oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
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I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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