At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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