I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
