It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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