My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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