does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I party with great urgency now.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
