My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
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We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
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You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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