Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
