yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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