Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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