What a fucking waste of an outfit
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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