Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
