From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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