Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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