They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
