All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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