I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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