sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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