So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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