I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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