im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
