I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize