Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
