John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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