I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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