I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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