So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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