We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
