I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
