That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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