4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
