i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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