Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
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His hands were made for my vagina.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
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Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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