her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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