On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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