then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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