How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Mom said you looked used
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Randomize
