if i can run in heels then i can drive
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
