captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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