im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.