well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
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Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
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Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys