No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
