Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
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For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
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I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.