Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.