So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
