Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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