My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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