Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
