Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
