I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
where does the pee come out of this thing
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
