I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
