we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
