what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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