yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
