just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize