My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
I dont know to explain this.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer