We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.