why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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