Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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