How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
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