You made me cry and you don't even care
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
