did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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